This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. Questions for Growth
3. Reality Check

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips

Some tips to jumpstart your August:

1. Begin rewarding yourself after small victories in your life. These victories may take the form of errands completed, rooms cleaned, calls made, bills paid, etc...The key to sustaining momentum is to appropriately celebrate these small victories in your day. Treat yourself to a new CD or book you've been wanting, go see a new movie, or sign-up for a massage after you have tackled a particularly tough task or duty. The bigger the victory, the bigger the reward. Rewarding yourself in this manner increases the likelihood that you will complete other tasks (and gain other rewards). It works with our kids, so why not use it on ourselves?
2. With regards to relationships and conversations, one tip I learned that has vastly improved my ability to relate with and understand others is to try to remove my ego from every discussion. In other words, I try to intentionally NOT make it about me. Most people cannot and do not want to do this (and it is difficult to do!). Most people spend time trying to convince the other person in the conversation of their viewpoint (or, in other words, they engage in oneupmanship). They involve their ego, their need to be correct, and it becomes a battle of right and wrong. As a result, communication breaks down. Next time you engage in a conversation, intentionally take your need to be right OUT of the discussion, and see what happens. You'll talk less (due to having less to say) and will thus learn more about the other person.
3. Read any book by Lance Armstrong (there are two that I know of). Not only is his perspective as a cancer-survivor and now six time winner of the Tour de France inspiring, but it is also brutally refreshing. Lance's books are straightforward accounts of his battles and change of perspective due to his battle with cancer. All of us can benefit from his honest account of how laziness robs us of living a satisfying life. Read one today.
4. Run towards fear. I wrote an article last year (posted on our website archive) about running towards those things in life that we fear. Most people instinctively run AWAY from fear. What results is mountains from molehills. Take any area of your life where you are feeling anxious (a synonym for fear) and take some sort of action towards alleviating your angst. You'll feel so much better.
5. Here's a tip that has saved me lots of extra cash: When buying books, go to bookstores and write down titles and authors you may want to purchase. Then go home, sit down at your computer and check out the prices for these books at Amazon.com or Barnesandnoble.com. What you will find is that you can buy most of the titles you desire at prices that are almost half off retail prices if you are willing to look at the used selection of books. Many times you can find used books that are still in great to perfect condition (but are lower priced due to high inventories). You'll save even more money. If you are anything like me, and read probably two to three books a month, it is well worth your time. Additionally, if you combine this tip with the first one listed above, not only will you feel good about rewarding yourself, but you will feel great about doing it while saving money.

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2. Questions for Growth
1. When was the last time you tried doing something out of the ordinary? (ate at a new restaurant, tried a new seafood, put a resume in for the job that you really want but are afraid you might get, walked to work, etc..)

2. What stops you from doing that? Fear? Of what?

3. What has to happen for you to experience happiness in your life?

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Our newsletter will now have a reader comments and questions section. This month's featured subscriber is Erin Eusner, from Marlborough College in Wiltshire, England. She writes:

I look forward to receiving my monthly newsletter from Personal Best Consulting each month because of the thought provoking and life challenging bite-sized chunks of wit and wisdom. I often share the Personal Effectiveness Tips and Questions for Growth with the high school students I teach, and I have found their personal goals changing in a positive direction. In this ever growing crazy-busy world that we live in, it is refreshing to get a reality check as often as possible. Being able to read Leif's humorous and intelligent insights in such an easily accessible way has enhanced my outlook on life and relationships. I hope the newsletter keeps on coming!

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3. Reality Check

The August reality check is about personal happiness. More specifically, it is about taking responsibility for our own happiness. Many people give away this responsibility. They come up with various excuses for the fact that their lives are not satisfying, and proceed to blame others or the circumstances in which they find themselves.

It is never about the situation; it is always about how we react to what happens to us. This has to be the building block around which you base your thinking if you are to become happier and more satisfied in your life. It also is the basis for becoming a more responsible individual.

My personal definition of happiness is peace of mind that comes from knowing I am doing my best to get the most out of my life. I tried to define it in this way so that it focused on the process of being happy rather than the end result. My only requisite for peace of mind is focused effort on doing the best I can do. This enables me to control the amount of happiness I allow into my life.

Society as a whole is so unhappy that pursuit of peace of mind almost seems abnormal. Keeping up with the neighbors, having what others have, attaining possessions-these seem to be the prevalent definitions that many people subscribe to. I am reminded of this every time I mow my lawn. Within twenty four hours of my mowing the lawn, both neighbors will mow theirs, regardless of when they last mowed! On one occasion, when I asked my neighbor how her day was going, she stated that it was not good because I had mowed my lawn, and now she, of course, had to mow hers. I had no idea my lawn was so important to her.

My point here is this: Setting happiness up as an end product, and making it dependent on what others are doing or on things outside your sphere of influence, is a no-win game. Neighbors will mow their lawn, perhaps twice per week. Fail to keep up, and anxiety ensues. Therefore, nothing has to happen for you to feel happy besides merely making a choice on how you want to define it. However, this is your responsibility, and one that you should take very seriously. If you allow others to define what your happiness is, your life will be much less satisfying; the definitions are ever-changing and amorphous. Focus on your own process, on your own efforts, and leave it at that.

Now I think I will go mow my lawn...

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