This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. Questions for Growth
3. Reality Check - The Perils of Perfectionism

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
1. Don't take yourself too seriously. Why? Because very little that you and I do on a day-to-day basis will alter the course of world events. Want another reason? People that don't take themselves too seriously tend to have better perspective on life, experience less feelings of sadness, anger, and anxiety, and make friends more easily. If you can't see the ridiculous in everyday life, you have a serious lack of perspective and balance in your life.

2. Want to improve your communication skills? Don't take a weekend seminar offered by some local guru. Do this: Listen more than you speak. Most people are so busy talking that they have no idea what the other person is attempting to convey! A good rule to follow is to speak once and listen twice. Listen to what the other person is really trying to say (i.e., they are discussing problems with a coworker), clarify and add your own value to the message (i.e., "it sounds like it is really frustrating for you to work with someone like that. I wonder if your boss knows that and can help you with that situation?"), then listen again as they expound further (i.e., they go on to talk about how they are, in fact, thinking about going to their boss for help). You'll not only learn 50% more from every conversation you have by operating in this manner, but you'll be worth your weight in gold to others.

3. You are better served in any area of your life in the short-term by putting all your efforts into one area of need rather than diluting them across several areas. Do one thing well, or very well, and then move on to another task or goal. Don't try to do everything perfectly all the time.

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2. Questions for Growth
1. What one area of your life can benefit most from a short-term concerted effort towards improvement?

2. When was the last time you approached someone more successful than yourself (in any area of your life) and listened to their personal recipe for success?

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3. Reality Check - The Perils of Perfectionism

In the past month I have had several discussions with clients and friends about the dangers of perfectionism in our daily lives. I have also addressed it in prior issues of Personal Bests, but the solution to this issue is important enough that it bears repeating: Life is about progress, not perfection.

What are the consequences of striving for perfection in your life?

• increased anxiety
• decreased room for error
• increased stress hormone levels
• increased blood pressure
• reduced ability to bounce back from failure (since perfection is an "all-or-none")
• increased chance for failure (since only 100% attainment is sufficient)

I could go on, but you get the point. We humans are nothing close to perfect in any area of our daily lives. We mess up, forget names and dates, say dumb things at the wrong moment, make careless mistakes due to oversight, etc. They key is to understand this, accept it as a fact, and learn to move quickly past each mistake you make. Don't dwell, don't punish yourself for making the mistake-figure out what happened and strive to not repeat it if possible. Move forward.

There is nothing wrong with striving to be the best in any area of your life. Just don't confuse being the best with being perfect. Life is about making consistent gains and progress in the important areas-relationships, work, spirituality, finances, and family (my arbitrary categories). Small, consistent movements towards our goals result in dramatic long term results if we have the patience to trust this process. This is true in business, in sports, and in life.

When will you give up on being a perfectionist? I suggest that today is a great day to start.

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