This issue is made up of the following sections:

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
2. A Day in the Life...
3. Reality Check - Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain!

1. Personal Effectiveness Tips
1. Don't enable others' mean-spirited or selfish behaviors. There's nothing in life's handbook that says you have to keep your mouth shut when someone wrongs you, or lies to you, or is generally obnoxious or arrogant in your presence. You actually reinforce these behaviors by not calling the person out on the behavior. You also build up anger and resentment, which tend to come to the surface at a later time. Don't do it. For example:

   Bob: Word on the street is that you were passed over for your managerial promotion because you were too friendly with certain customers....

   You: Really?

   Bob: Yep.

   You: Well, I don't put much stock in unsolicited and generalized gossip, and I'm disappointed that you felt the need to be a mouthpiece for it. Maybe next time you won't be a part of such childish antics.

   Bob: Uh....But...

   You: And if I ask you for feedback, I welcome your comments. Otherwise, feel free to keep such "helpfulness" to yourself.

2. For those who travel frequently on business...Try scheduling business around pleasure when traveling, and vice versa. Next time you visit your Aunt Bessie in Chicago, see if there aren't business contacts you can arrange to meet while there. A lunch or a coffee together to keep in touch or discuss potential sales is a fine way to make more pragmatic use of your travel time.

3. Any time you find yourself feeling less-than-happy about the professional success of those around you, you can be sure that this is a reflection of your own unhappiness with your chosen endeavors. Look inward, not outward. If you can't revel and celebrate the success of others, how will you expect to do so for yourself when your time comes?

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2. A Day in the Life...

A compilation of some things that I have experienced this past month:

• recently fell down the stairs (half the stairs, actually), which sounded like a bass drum being attacked in a dark alley. Scared my 19 month old son half to death.
• realized halfway through a day of seeing individual clients that my pants zipper was agape.
• drank two cups of skim milk prior to realizing they tasted like buttermilk and had expired the previous day.
• lost a potential client due to lack of CEO enthusiasm for the project
• had a car overheat and blow a head gasket (whatever that means)

However, I also:

• closed three new speech events for the coming months
• gained three new consulting clients
• bought a new car
• met a guy who has packed an entire lifetime of living and learning into only 40 plus years
• read two new books, have my eye on three others
• started running again (for exercise, not fun)
• played tennis for the first time in ten years and had a blast

So, you win some, you lose some, you learn some. Right?

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3. Reality Check - Pay No Attention to That Man Behind the Curtain!

I was watching that old classic, The Wizard of Oz, one evening when it dawned on me that most people live their life as if they were the main and supporting cast of this film. For instance:

• How many of us walk around believing that there is someone out there, one person (or one book, or one career, etc), that holds the secret to success and happiness?

• How many times in our lives have we assumed that the other party, or the other person, is more experienced, smarter, more educated than ourselves, so we bypass our instincts and leave daily life decisions to them?

• We walk around on a daily basis not believing in our individual gifts, much like the Scarecrow who thinks he doesn't have a brain, or the Cowardly Lion who believes that courage is something that only small dogs and girls with pony tails possess. Only when something "happens," or only when an expert or a wizard grants us our wish can we finally enjoy it.

The solution lies within ourselves, folks. That great Wizard that we are seeking is really a fraud. "PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE CURTAIN!" Well, it seems to me that the man behind the curtain doesn't know as much as I do about my own life, my own strengths, my own peculiar ways of doing things, my reserves of bravery. That man behind the curtain can take many forms-a doctor, a psychic, a friend, a colleague, a guru-but in the end he is human, and as prone to mistakes, misjudgement and criticism as we are.

What needs to happen for you to start trusting that part of you that knows what is best for you in that moment? Do we actually need someone else (Dr. Phil, Oprah, etc) to grant us permission? There is a great book on the topic of learning to trust your own instincts more readily, and that book is titled "Blink," by Malcolm Gladwell, (he of "The Tipping Point" fame). In this book, he discusses experts in various fields and how their research has shown that we can instinctively size up a moment or a situation and make a decision in the blink of an eye. What gets in the way is that brain of ours, which always seems to induce doubt and cloud these instincts we have, to the point that we second-guess our own gut reactions.

My point is this: You're going to make the wrong decision every now and then, but you are also going to make some correct decisions along the way. Isn't it more empowering to allow for the personal responsibility of these consequences of your decisions, instead of allowing room to blame others for your lot in life? I think you'll learn your lessons a lot quicker. I know I do.

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