1. Don't let neuroticism in others get you down. I define neuroticism as the tendency to incessantly worry about things, without regard for perspective. On occasion, others' neuroticism will be directed your way. It's your fault they are late, or dumb, or lazy, or short. Do what martial artists have been doing for years-learn to first get out of the way of your opponent. Step aside, and focus on managing only yourself, and move on with your day.

2. Pursue innovation in several areas of your life this month. Try new ideas, solicit different opinions, look at things from a different angle, or start new habits altogether. At worst, you'll feel invigorated. At best, you'll feel more productive than you've been in quite some time.

3. Keep in mind that you can be both fierce and humble at the same time. You can also be silly while displaying competence, or confident though uncertain. We're complicated creatures. Embrace this fact, and realize that there is nobody who can do things quite like you can, in the manner that you do, and with the style that is unique to you.

Back to top

I met with a new client for the first time last week. In the course of gathering information about this gentleman, I asked him (a Caucasian) about whether he was dating anyone currently. Somehow, the conversation turned to his having an African-American girlfriend.

As we talked, I was carefully trying to glean whether he had suffered any difficulties dealing with the interaction between his very strict, old-fashioned parents and his wonderful, black girlfriend of many years. "She's not black," he said, rather forcefully. "I apologize," I responded. "It's just that, in my experience, most African Americans are perfectly comfortable calling themselves black." I was being polite, but also pressing him a bit to see how he reacted. I went on..."Actually, it probably is more correct to use the word black, also, since most African Americans, like most Americans in general, are third or fourth generation Americans, with little connection to the country of origin of their ancestors" I was feeling intelligent, and looking forward to his healthy respect of my understanding of black culture and semantics in twenty-first century western civilization.

"Leif, she moved here from Tanzania years ago. She's African American" he said, looking at me with a pained expression that bordered on pity and disbelief.

"Oh." I said, flustered. "Well then. So tell me about your job"

Back to top

I recently watched the movie "Beowulf," and was surprised at the psychological distance between my initial reaction of disappointment ("Aww! This is an animated film?") and my final verdict (it was a good movie with an outstanding soundtrack). One of the appealing aspects of the movie was the overall heroic theme surrounding Beowulf, who is ultimately faced with the consequences of a mistake he made years earlier. I won't ruin it for those of you that haven't watched it, but what I found so motivating about his tale was the fact that, despite his heroic status, Beowulf was an entirely human and flawed character. Which got me to thinking...

It seems that many people these days are waiting on imaginary heroes to come and save them from themselves. Everyone else seems to have better luck, an easier time of it, and better life events to surround themselves with. Everybody likes the idea of an external hero, but very few people seem to want to undertake that journey themselves. So we all sit around and watch movies, rooting for others to overcome their demons and enemies, all the while refusing to star in our own movies in the same manner. Isn't that a little boring?

We all have an innate ability to be heroic in our own lives. This is because we all face bad luck, terrible decisions, unfortunate events, and every other obstacle that life can throw our way. Heroes simply make different decisions. Heroes fight back instead of blaming. They also refuse to give up, even when the movie seems headed towards tragedy. They take risks, big ones, and they actively pursue their goals. They make mistakes, but keep moving forward. Can't we all do that? I think so.

So here's the question: If your life had to be scripted into a movie, would anyone want to watch? If not, why? After all, you are the one writing the script...

Back to top